Midterm: The Fear of Missing Out: Europe Edition

For as long as I could remember, I have always suffered from a severe case of Fear of Missing Out, commonly referred to as "FOMO". FOMO is defined as "anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website." I deal with this regularly and to a high degree. One of my great fears before going abroad was that I would be missing out on life at Syracuse, causing me to feel the anxiety of being left out or forgotten. Last fall, I made the great decision to join Phi Sigma Pi, the National Honor Fraternity, on-campus. Through this organization, I made a bunch of new friends who I was sad to leave come December when we had to say our goodbyes. It was hard to leave all my new friends just when I started to feel like I was finally a part of something on campus that I was passionate about. I knew all throughout the fall semester that leaving for abroad would be even harder than I thought. Come springtime, I knew I would be plagued with a severe case of FOMO, even though I would be studying in one of the most beautiful places in the world, Italy.

As the pain of leaving my friends back in December lessened as my departure date approached, I began to wonder if my FOMO would subside once I finally got to Italy, and it did…for a while. As I was going through orientation, my friends at main campus began to reunite, and I didn't feel so sad anymore. I mean I was going to be in Italy for four months, I felt like I wasn't allowed to complain. It wasn't until February that these familiar feelings began to rise again. My fraternity was starting their recruitment process, which entailed many social media posts, and lots of hangouts between all the brothers. As I saw the flood of posts coming in, and seeing my friends all happy together without me. I couldn't help but feel sad. Here I was feeling sad and lonely in Italy, wishing I could be back in snowy Syracuse with my friends. I felt ridiculous. I was having a great time in Italy, but my mind couldn't help but drift off to somewhere else, wondering what my friends from home were up to. I began to question why I even came abroad when I knew how prone I was to feel like I was missing out.

When I began to notice these intense feelings, I tried to reflect on them critically. I think the reason why I felt this way was because it was what I mentally prepared for the semester prior. I can specifically remember the last few days of last semester, looking around at all my friends and trying to savor every last moment. I knew I wouldn't be with most of them until the following fall, which made me even sadder. I think I tried to prep myself so much for these painful feelings that I got too overwhelmed and pushed them aside. So, when the time came, and these feelings came back, it felt like a rush of emotions all at once, and I neglected being in Italy. My method to address it came down to feeling present in Italy. For a couple of days or so, when my feelings were most intense, I tried to focus on my life in Italy. I stopped using social media on and off, and I attempted to address my feelings, but also understand the fantastic opportunity I had in the current moment.

As I immersed myself in my life in Italy, I began to have a strong feeling that I needed to have felt "changed" after my abroad experience was over. When you talk to people that have gone abroad, the most common phrase you hear is, "It changed my life." That phrase was in the back of my mind throughout the entire experience, and I think I was consciously trying to feel like my life was changing. I believe this is what caused me to divulge my fear of missing out even more intensely than before. While in Italy, I felt like I needed to have life-changing experiences. When I felt like I was getting into a routine, I thought that it also meant that nothing would feel extravagant and only ordinary. When I reflect on these moments now, though, I realize that just being in Italy was a life-changing experience in itself. There was no need for me to pressure myself to make extreme decisions to feel like I was making the most out of my abroad. Just simply being there was enough.

When I think back to my short period in Italy, I feel silly for feeling like I was missing out at school; however, I know my sadness was valid. I feel stupid because I was getting to do something that I had looked forward to for such a long time. Going abroad, especially so early in my college career, is something I know a lot of students never get to do. Living in a foreign country, especially for so long, might be something I might never have the opportunity to do again. For that reason, yes, I feel foolish for feeling like I didn't appreciate where I was. On the flip side, my feeling of missing out was valid because it was what I was feeling in the present moment. I've learned over the years that pushing aside unwanted feelings only leads to them reemerging later on. With that, it was good to acknowledge what I felt. I learned to feel these emotions fully during my last two weeks in Italy, luckily just in time to savor where I was and the fantastic experience I was given. Emotionally, going abroad taught me to embrace whatever I'm feeling and work through it. This was a valuable lesson I'd been needing to learn, and it that way, I can say abroad in some aspect changed my life for the better.

To conclude, abroad taught me a precious lesson in being present in a given moment. Whether it be happy or sad feelings, I've learned that I need to fully endure how I'm feeling. The fear of missing out will always be something that I've struggled with and will continue to work through. However, I look forward to returning to campus next semester, ready to embrace the life that I've missed while away. I've discovered a newfound appreciation for my abroad experience, but also one for my life at Syracuse.